Sunday, October 7, 2007

Ek kavi ki kahaani

Meri khwahishen kuch baaki hain,
Jeevan ek alpaviraam hai,
Kavi ka naam badnaam hai,
Jeevan mein mere liye bacha hi kya hai.

Log kisi aur par fida hain,
Haseenaye doosron ke baahon mein jaane ke liye bekraar hain,
Mera chota bhai mujhse behtar hai,
Jeevan mein mere liye bacha hi kya hai.

Meri maa mujhse naraaz hai,
Mere dost aapas mein kehte hain;
“arre chod yaar, who toh bekar hai.”
Jeevan mein mere liye bacha hi kya hai.

Lekin, sochne lagta hoon main, upar ek bhagwan hai,
Mere maathe par bhi uska haath hai,
Har ek ki andar ek bhagwan hai,
Jiska naam aatma-vishwas hai.

Mere haath kalam ki orr jaate hain,
Kaagaz ko chooker who likh jaate hain,
Log rukkar, padhkar, bole jaate hain…
“wah bhai wah, ye kya likhta hai…!”

10 comments:

Unknown said...

It's lyrical. You can explain what it means to me someday, I'm sure it'd mean Beautiful. *winkie*

Spartan said...

nice poem da.....first 4 stanzas bring in me the old u......the last one is a u i dunno....hi hi.... and nice thoughts.....


now,the real comments.....take these as how it wud ve been if i had written the poem.....
how the hell do u compare life with a coma????and lines in 1st stanza r not at all related .......*its jeevan...not jeeavn....

2nd line in 2nd stanza seems lik an essay....."mera chotta bhai"....it cant b others chota bhai....so chotta bhai tho mujhse....was enuf....similarly meri maa in 3rd...
4th...har ek ke andar wo basa hai...was enuf.....
5th....kalam ke or jaata he is ..i think correct..omly one hand ll go na....
and now...the title shud ve been ek kavi ka janam.....that wud ve been ideal.........
and switchin the 3rd line in 2nd stanza and 2nd in 3 rd stanza wud ve sounded good......
nxt time b careful in framin.....
but nice attempt da......
creatin a poem and that too hindi is far more difficult than critisisin an existin one...i kno...so keep the spirits high.....

Nicks aka Jester said...

wow..thnx 4 d critical review...i feel honoured...really....thnx da

Nicks aka Jester said...

ok..
first doubt of urs....life wid a coma?....wat i wanted to say was dat my life at dat particular moment too small too insignificant...too tiny to have any influence in d sentence of life....its kinda wonky...but hope u get d coma in a sentence kinda relationship....

Spartan said...

nice thinkin da....hope u meant the same wen u wrote the poem.....

Spartan said...

but think twice.......is a coma insignificant.....cant a COMA KILL A MAN......jus think of.....KILL HIM NOT LET HIM LIVE.......so.....????

Nicks aka Jester said...

""nice thinkin da....hope u meant the same wen u wrote the poem.....""

wats dat supposed to mean...deres a difference between criticism and plain cynicism my friend....tread carefully....

Spartan said...

hi hi....watever...but in pacha malayalam....v call it.....Chori unplugged....bear wid it dude....

Unknown said...

Entheru behalam!! 8-|

Madhavi Nisha Nair said...

namichu _/\_ :)